Let's Attack Aggressively.

So Chris and I have Contra and Contra III on the NES and Super Nintendo, respectively.  If you know anything about video games, then you know that these games are hard.  Like, insanely difficult.  Like, playing is fun, but after a while, you die so many times that it really feels like the game is punishing you for something you did.  And if anything, you probably have it coming.
What I'm trying to say is that we suck at video games.  Also, if you ever meet anyone who has claimed to beat these games without using the Konami Code, then slap them in their filthy lying mouth, because that is impossible.
Ooh, and I just found out I can ad alt text to these comics!  SWEET.
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Javi's Playthrough.

Mass Effect might be one of my favorite game series ever, second only to the Metroid series (Except Metroid Prime: Hunters.  Because it was terrible.).  I guess I am into sweeping science fiction stories with engaging characters.  Javi, though, has a different opinion.
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Player 1.

When Javier is handed a controller, he either does really well at whatever game we're playing, or he does HORRIBLY. The first time this happened, he lost after all of five seconds after I handed him the controller. It's kind of a toss-up, so at this point, the game becomes "Will Javier Beat The Level For Me Or Get His Ass Handed To Him?"
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Zombies Zombies Zombies.

So technically, this comic at one point was capable of predicting the future, because I was debating either drawing this exact comic, or going to play Resident Evil instead. I ended up doing both, but I think shooting zombies is a much more noble achievement. Also, ZOMBIE HEADSPLOSIONS WHOOOOOOOO.
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It Seriously Wasn't Meant to Be. Stop Trying.

So this doesn't actually make sense unless you remember Tuesday's comic, in which I expressed my love of Super Metroid, the greatest video game ever made. You get to play as Samus Aran, a badass bounty hunter lady in a giant suit of armor. She's a breath of fresh air since most other female video game characters tend to wear as little clothing as possible, and instead of filling the "damsel in distress" role, she's the protagonist who is the one shooting all the aliens and saving the galaxy time and time again. Seriously: BEST VIDEO GAME FRANCHISE AND CHARACTER EVER.
Also, the weirdness of today's page was partly Chris' idea. So any questions should be directed at him.
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It Wasn't Meant to Be.

Okay, so Super Metroid might be my favourite game ever in the history of video games. Seriously, to me, you can't get better than exploring an ENTIRE PLANET. The world is so crazy vast that it literally took me two years to beat the first time I ever played it (which was eleven years ago). Seriously, best game EVER.
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Pixelated Wussiness.

I played DOOM first when I was about 12, and thought it was awesome, though terrifying. Demons are just everywhere, they hunt you down relentlessly, and it feels like no matter what, you'll finish the game cold, alone, and paranoid looking down darkened hallways knowing that cruel and unfeeling claws await to pull you to a tortuous death.
What I am saying is that I'm a grown man and I'm still scared when I play this game, even in broad daylight.
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Hey, It's Better Than Vanilla Ice.

In case you can't read my terrible rendering of graffiti-writing, the names are "Thugnificent" and "Flownomenal." When you think about it, they're actually pretty good rap names. I'd be surprised if some rapper somewhere hadn't thought of these yet.
Also, news? General Demeanor has an e-mail address! I don't know why! It just seemed like I should grab it before someone else did! E-mail the comic at generaldemeanor@gmail.com
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Doc Brown's First Prototype

This is pretty much how we think science happens.
The story behind this is that I want a time machine to build a crime-fighting machine. And this is how my brother responded, verbatim.
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